Couples Counselling in Nanaimo
Connection, Communication, and Meaningful Change
Most couples seek therapy not because they have failed, but because something within the relationship itself is asking for attention. A pattern that keeps returning. A disconnect that has become harder to repair. A sense that conversations no longer land the way they once did.
Couples counselling creates a space to slow things down, notice what is unfolding between you, and begin to shift it — with steadiness, clarity, and care.
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Why Couples Seek Counselling
Couples often seek counselling when:
- communication breaks down or becomes repetitive
- conflicts escalate quickly or go unresolved
- emotional connection feels thin, strained, or distant
- trust has been shaken, or a rupture needs repair
- intimacy has changed — physically, emotionally, or both
- life transitions (parenting, health, work stress, aging) strain the relationship
- you feel more like roommates than partners
- you want to reconnect in a grounded, honest way
These moments are invitations to see the relationship more clearly — not as a problem to be “fixed,” but as a living system where patterns can be understood, meaning can emerge, and change becomes possible through attention and care.
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How the Work Unfolds
Couples counselling is an active, relational process. Together, we slow the pace, attend to what unfolds between you, and work with the patterns shaping how you meet — building the conditions for honest connection.
In our work together, we focus less on fixing individual behaviours and more on understanding what takes shape between you. Sessions are structured enough to hold intensity, yet flexible enough to follow what emerges in the moment.
We slow interactions down so emotions can be felt without overwhelming the conversation, and so patterns that usually escalate or shut things down can be seen more clearly. Safety is not assumed or imposed — it is built gradually, through attention to pacing, tone, and how each of you responds under stress.
As recurring cycles come into view, we work with them directly — not to assign fault, but to understand how each of you participates in and is affected by the pattern. From there, new ways of responding become possible, both in the room and beyond it.
Over time, this work supports a renewed sense of partnership: the capacity to stay present with one another, even in difficult moments, and to meet conflict with greater steadiness, understanding, and mutual respect.
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What Happens in a Session
Sessions are guided, but not scripted. We begin by orienting to what is happening between you, especially where intensity or disconnection shows up — not to solve it immediately, but to understand how it takes shape in the room.
Conversations are slowed down so each partner can speak from their experience without being overtaken by reactivity or defensiveness. When familiar patterns pull things off course, I help redirect the process so the underlying emotions and meanings can be addressed rather than repeated.
Throughout the session, attention is given to moments of rupture and repair — not as failures, but as opportunities to understand how connection is lost and found between you. The aim is not perfection, but movement: toward clarity, honesty, and a more grounded way of relating.
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My Approach
My work with couples integrates Gottman Method Couples Therapy with emotionally focused and depth-oriented approaches to relationship. This allows us to work with both the practical realities of communication and conflict, and the deeper emotional and relational forces shaping how you meet one another.
Gottman-informed structure provides a grounded framework for understanding patterns of interaction, managing conflict, and strengthening friendship and trust. Alongside this, I draw on emotionally focused and sex-positive therapy to support couples through shifts in attachment, desire, and intimacy, and on depth-oriented perspectives that attend to the meanings and histories activated between you.
Practical guidance and skill-building are present where they are needed, but always in service of something deeper: helping each partner understand not only what is happening in the relationship, but why it takes the shape it does, and how new ways of relating can emerge.
This approach allows us to work not just on behaviour, but on what moves within and between you.
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For Couples Who Want Lasting Change
Couples counselling is not simply about reducing conflict. It is about strengthening the foundation of the relationship so it can hold difference, repair, and growth over time.
This work supports couples who want to understand what keeps them stuck, repair what has been hurt, and relate to one another with greater honesty and steadiness — especially when things are difficult. Rather than avoiding tension or pushing for quick resolution, we work toward staying present, engaged, and responsive in moments that matter.
Whether you are facing a painful rupture, feeling disconnected, or sensing that your relationship is being asked to grow in a new way, this work is for couples willing to meet what is emerging with care, effort, and curiosity about what lies beneath the surface.
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Beginning the Work
If you are considering couples therapy, we begin with a session — a first opportunity to understand your relationship, what is happening between you, and what feels important to address.
From there, we shape a path forward at a pace that supports steadiness and care.
You bring openness, effort, and honesty;
I bring training, presence, and a way of working that helps us follow what is emerging.
Together, we create the conditions for real movement.