Sex Therapy in Nanaimo

A depth-oriented approach to intimacy, desire, and connection

Sexual concerns are often what bring people to therapy — but they are rarely only about sex.

Difficulties with desire, arousal, intimacy, or connection often reflect deeper emotional, relational, or psychological patterns that have been developing over time. These concerns can show up in many ways: distance between partners, anxiety around intimacy, shame or self-doubt, unresolved trauma, or the feeling that a once good intimate connection has gone.

In my practice, sex therapy is approached as sex and intimacy counselling grounded in depth psychology — combining established sex-therapy tools with attention to what is shaping your experience beneath the surface.

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When Intimacy Becomes Difficult

Sex and intimacy counselling can help with:

  • loss of desire or mismatched desire between partners
  • difficulty with arousal, orgasm, or sexual response
  • anxiety, shame, or self-criticism around sex
  • erectile difficulties, premature ejaculation (PE)
  • sexual avoidance or disconnection
  • the impact of stress, depression, or anxiety on intimacy
  • the effects of past sexual trauma or boundary violations
  • feeling emotionally distant despite physical closeness
  • questions around identity, desire, or repeating relational patterns

Often, these concerns feel confusing and frustrating — especially when efforts to fix them only increase pressure, performance anxiety, or self-judgment.

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A Depth-Oriented Approach to Sex Therapy

Rather than trying to manage or override sexual difficulties, depth-oriented sex therapy begins with curiosity.

Sexual experiences are understood as meaningful expressions of the psyche — shaped by personal history, attachment patterns, relational dynamics, and unconscious themes. Symptoms are not treated as failures, but as signals pointing toward underlying concerns.

In our work we explore:

  • emotional undercurrents shaping sexual experience
  • protective patterns such as avoidance, pressure, or shutdown
  • the role of anxiety, shame, anger, or grief
  • how desire is affected by relational safety and trust
  • places where past experience continues to influence the present

Sexual material requires careful attention and containment.
This work unfolds through presence and understanding rather than judgment.

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Working With Tools — In Service of Understanding

I offer practical tools in service of reducing pressure, anxiety, and shame — so that deeper understanding can emerge.

Depending on your situation, our work may include established sex-therapy approaches:

  • sensate focus and non-goal-oriented intimacy exercises
  • ways of approaching initiation that reduce pressure or fear of rejection
  • guidance around boundaries, consent, and safety within intimacy
  • strategies for working with sexual anxiety, avoidance, or shutdown
  • tools that help couples slow things down and re-establish safety

These tools are not used to force outcomes or “fix” performance.
They are used to create stability, allowing curiosity, emotional contact, and meaning to develop.

My work is informed by training in both depth-oriented psychotherapy and established sex-therapy approaches, allowing practical tools and psychological understanding to work together rather than in opposition. Techniques are always used within a broader depth-oriented frame — attentive to personal history, relational dynamics, and what may be operating outside of conscious attention.

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Individuals and Couples

I work with both individuals and couples around sex and intimacy concerns.

For individuals, this may involve exploring internal conflicts, self-image, anxiety, trauma history, or long-standing patterns around desire and connection.

For couples, sex and intimacy counselling often becomes a doorway into deeper relational work — addressing emotional distance, communication breakdowns, unspoken resentment, or mismatched needs that have gradually shaped the sexual relationship.

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The Space

Depth-oriented sex therapy creates a contained space where:

  • difficult feelings can be named without judgment
  • vulnerability is met with empathy rather than urgency
  • intimacy can be explored without pressure or expectation

Depth work creates the conditions where intimacy can reorganize organically, so that what has been hidden or avoided is given room to be understood.

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Beginning the Work

If you are struggling with sexual or intimacy concerns — whether individually or within a relationship — depth-oriented work offers a way to engage what lies beneath desire, performance, or disconnection issues.

The work begins simply by noticing what is no longer working, and allowing curiosity to replace self-criticism.