Sex Therapy in Nanaimo
A depth psychotherapy approach to intimacy, desire, and connection
Sexual concerns are often what bring people to therapy, but the problem is rarely only about sex.
Difficulties with desire, arousal, intimacy, or connection often reflect deeper emotional or relational patterns. These concerns can show up as distance between partners, anxiety around intimacy, shame or self-doubt, unresolved trauma, or the feeling that a once good intimate connection has gone.
In my practice, sex therapy is approached as sex and intimacy counselling grounded in depth psychology, combining established sex-therapy tools with attention to what is shaping your experience beneath the surface.
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When Intimacy Becomes Difficult
Sex and intimacy counselling can help with:
- loss of desire or mismatched desire between partners
- difficulty with arousal, orgasm, or libido
- anxiety, shame, or self-criticism around sex
- erectile difficulties (ED), premature ejaculation (PE)
- sexual avoidance or disconnection
- the impact of stress, depression, or anxiety on intimacy
- the effects of past sexual trauma or boundary violations
- feeling emotionally distant despite physical closeness
- questions around identity, desire, or repeating relational patterns
Often, these concerns feel confusing and frustrating, especially when efforts to fix them only increase pressure, performance anxiety, or self-judgment.
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A Depth-Oriented Approach to Sex Therapy
Instead of trying to manage or override sexual difficulties, sex therapy begins with curiosity.
Sexual experiences are understood as meaningful expressions of the psyche, shaped by personal history, attachment patterns, relational dynamics, and unconscious themes. Symptoms aren’t treated as failures, but as signals carrying their own internal logic that something important needs to be addressed. Often the symptom is a protective response.
In our work, we explore:
- emotional undercurrents shaping sexual experience
- protective patterns such as avoidance, pressure, or shutdown
- the role of anxiety, shame, anger, or grief
- how desire is affected by relational safety and trust
- how past experience continues to influence the present
Sexual material requires careful attention and containment. We work with it through presence and understanding rather than judgment.
Therapy can help lower the pressure of performance anxiety so the natural intelligence of the body can emerge.
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Working With Tools in Service of Understanding
I offer practical tools in service of reducing pressure, anxiety, and shame, so that deeper understanding can emerge.
Depending on your situation, our work may include established sex-therapy approaches:
- sensate focus and non-goal-oriented intimacy exercises
- ways of approaching initiation that reduce pressure or fear of rejection
- guidance around boundaries, consent, and safety within intimacy
- strategies for working with sexual anxiety, avoidance, or shutdown
- tools that help couples slow things down and re-establish safety
These tools lower anticipatory anxiety and rebuild safety so desire can move again.
My work is informed by training in both depth psychotherapy and established sex-therapy approaches, allowing practical tools and psychological understanding to work together. Techniques are always used within a broader depth-oriented frame, with attention to personal history, relational dynamics, and what may be operating outside of conscious awareness.
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Individuals and Couples
I work with both individuals and couples around sex and intimacy concerns.
For individuals, this may involve exploring internal conflicts, self-image, anxiety, trauma history, or long-standing patterns around desire and connection.
For couples, sex and intimacy counselling often becomes a doorway into deeper relational work, addressing emotional distance, communication breakdowns, unspoken resentment, or mismatched needs that have shaped the sexual relationship.
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The Space
Sex therapy occurs in a contained space where sexual concerns can be named without judgment, vulnerability is met with care, and intimacy can be explored without pressure. All work is conversational and conducted within a professional setting where boundaries and safety are paramount.
The therapy room creates the conditions where intimacy can begin to shift, with less expectation and more emotional contact.
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Beginning the Work
If you are struggling with sexual or intimacy concerns, a depth approach offers a way to engage what lies beneath desire, performance, or disconnection.
The work begins simply by noticing what is no longer working, and allowing curiosity to replace self-criticism.
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