Preparing for Counselling: Orientation, Not Performance
Many people arrive at a first session unsure where to begin. If you are reading this, you already have. Something in you is seeking change, understanding, or relief — and that movement matters.
It is normal to feel uncertain before speaking with someone new about your inner world. Counselling often begins before the first session, in the quiet reflection that precedes it. Below are a few ways to approach the work with depth, clarity, and openness — not as performance or perfection, but as orientation.
Clarify what is asking for attention
Take time to consider what brings you now — not in the abstract, but in the body: pressure, fatigue, recurring conflict, the sense of “not myself,” emotional numbness, persistent shame, grief that has not been metabolized, or a pattern that keeps repeating despite your best efforts.
Sometimes the question is not “What is wrong with me?” but “What is trying to be understood?”
Write down what stands out
It doesn’t need to be neat or chronological. Jot down moments, memories, symptoms, dreams, reactions, or questions that keep circling back. These are often clues — fragments of a larger pattern seeking coherence. Bring your notes, or simply carry the reflection with you.
Notice your expectations of yourself
Many clients worry about “presenting it right.” But therapy is not an interview or a performance. If the story comes out tangled, that is often the most honest version. The psyche speaks in pieces.
Your task is not to be organized — it is to be present. My task is to listen for the thread.
Name what makes opening up easier — and what makes it harder
You are allowed to say:
“I need time before I can talk about that,”
or
“I appreciate direct feedback,”
or
“I don’t yet know how to speak about this.”
The work moves at the pace your nervous system can tolerate without shutting down.
For couples: notice patterns, not just problems
You can reflect on:
• what happens between us (not just within me)
• the moment things turn
• the part each of us plays
• the emotional choreography we repeat
Blame closes doors; curiosity opens them.
You don’t need to have it figured out
Any door is a good door. An image, a symptom, a reaction, a silence — these are all viable beginnings. People often enter counselling through the doorway of anxiety or depression only to discover grief, unmetabolized anger, or the part of themselves they abandoned long ago.
Wherever you are is where the work begins.
When we meet, we clarify what matters most, identify patterns that have served or constrained you, and attend not only to symptoms, but to the deeper movements beneath them — the story your nervous system, history, and inner world are already telling.
If you are preparing for counselling, you are already in motion.